I find that I need to entertain myself (and occasionally others) while at work, and the most appropriate avenue for said distractions is email. These are some of the emails that I’ve sent to my coworkers.
From: Mxxxxx Vxxxxxx
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 1:17 PM
To: Grade Level Team
Subject: Daniel
Team,
Poor little Daniel was busy this entire weekend moving houses. Somewhere in the process, his madre emptied his backpack into a box and filled it with “makeup and shit”. He is still looking for the missing box that holds the key to his future… but his mom sorted different subjects into different boxes, so his academic life is in shambles. He has asked for grace in this trying time of need, and in return he has committed to coming in early and giving up lunch where needed to make up the assignments that are lost.
CLICK HERE to send Daniel $5. You will also receive a picture of Daniel and letters from him describing his progress. Let God use you to make a difference in the life of a child.
~Matt Vaudrey
From: Jxxxxx Sxxxxxxxx
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 11:45 AM
To: theteam@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: culm equip & needs
If your team has any need for equipment, please give your request form to either Sxxxxxxxx or Txxxxxx
Thanks!
On Thu, May 28, 2009 at 11:58 AM, Mxxxxx Vxxxxxxxxwrote:
We need a fog machine, anti-gravity boots, and a full petting zoo with horsey rides. Also, we need a 40 x 60 foot stage for Obama’s Renaissance Address. KISS will be performing as well, but they can use the same stage and fog machine. Some of our students are putting up a laser-tag booth, so we’ll need a laser-tag course and 20… better make it 30 laser-tag vests. Better throw in another smoke machine, just to be safe. We also have the option of a knife-fight booth, but some students can’t afford butterflies, so we’ll need about 10 of those, plus bleach and buckets to sterilize them after every round.
Is it too late to have a rocket launch scheduled? I’ll get back to you on that.
~Mxxxxxxx Vxxxxxxx
These are incredible. Back when I was Chamber Singers Choir Manager, I regularly had to send out short emails with less than exciting information, which I would always make unnecessarily verbose and humorous simply for self gratifying purposes, because you can tell people when and where to be, or you can tell people when and where to be sarcastically, which is always a better option if you ask me.