I haven’t been sleeping well lately, and I’m writing to share some of the thoughts that have interrupted my nights.
Phase One
My last several blog posts all orbit around a central theme;
What kind of impact do I want to have on the field of Education?
I’ve had a few thousand students pass through my rosters, and for many of them, my impact was limited to just the math. There is a handful of them who find me on Facebook or Twitter, but I made a real-life impact on very few of them.
Phase Two
Phase two of my career has been focused on Adults. I’ve been the Ed/Tech Instructional Coach in Bonita for the last five years, and that’s coming to an amicable end next month. (More on that here.)
During that five years, I’ve traveled the country, encouraging teachers and asking some hard questions about our craft. It’s been exciting and empowering.
But there are limitations to how effective I can be as a consultant.
Phase Three
So here’s what I want next:
I want to be back on a school site and part of a staff.
I want to know some students and parents by name.
I want to be responsible for incremental growth over time.
I want to help students and staff feel included and heard.
I want to shine a light on practices that are hurting students from marginalized populations.
And—if by some miracle, I can check all those boxes—I want a pony.
For the last week or so, I’ve been spending a few hours a day on the campus of one of my middle schools, shadowing the Assistant Principal.
It’s been absolutely nothing like I thought.
What does the AP do?
In my book of Education, I thought I had accurately written the chapter on What An Assistant Principal Does On A School Site.
The first day of shadowing—and every day since—I have rewritten lines and crossed out sentences and scribbled in the margins of that chapter. I have realized that I actually know very little about what the AP does.
The secretary and I had this exchange yesterday:
Secretary: How’s your day going?
Me: Great!
Secretary: Having fun?
Me: Nope! But learning a lot!
Shadowing the Middle School AP has been great; she’s had me investigate lunchtime fights, run reports for state testing, and tackle the Master Schedule with her. She’s excellent at her job and is quite good at helping me learn it.
And within all those complex skill sets, there’s a sense of compassion and a focus on students that keeps me interested in the position.
All those staff in the front office care deeply about getting kids what they need to be successful. Just like I did when I was a classroom teacher*.
Being a school administrator is way more complex and way more exhausting than I thought. And I still wanna do it.
Even if it’s months or years before I feel effective.
Even if I stumble and do it wrong.
Even if it’s not as glamorous as being Mr. Keynote Speaker.
I want to be a school administrator.
~Matt “Mister… Bahdri?” Vaudrey
*and if I don’t find an Assistant Principal job, I will be back in the class next year. More on that in a future post.