Mrvaudrey

Category: Hope

  • Samantha

    Samantha (not Sam; do not call her Sam) joined our 5th/6th period a couple weeks into the school year.

    Fifth period was math, sixth period was bInterventionb: a full hour where students with learning challenges had iPads, me, and no curriculum.

    It was an absolute dream.

    I was quite pleased that my principal trusted me enough to give me a full period to do whatever the hell I wanted to help students learn. Had I known it was my last year in the classroom… I probably would’ve done the same stuff.

    Some days, webd edit photos for our 20% Projects.

    Some days, webd finish up a math activity from 5th period.

    Some days, webd stare at Donte, then estimate how many Donte will fit across the width of the classroom.

    A la Oliver Smoot.
    A la Oliver Smoot.

    Samantha didnbt quite know what to do with my class. It became immediately clear that shebd gotten here (an 8th grader with low basic skills stuck into a double-math period) by using the tried-and-true phrase of the struggling student:

    bI donbt know.b

    Or "IDK" to the middle-school teacher.
    IDK.

    In Teacher Chemistry, IDK + Teacher Redirection = Student Excused.

    Without the reagent of Teacher Redirection, the formula falls apart.

    In Vaudreybs class, bI donbt knowb doesnbt excuse you from responding:

    Vaudrey: Where did this 3x come from? Samantha?
    Samantha: I donbt know.
    Vaudrey: Ibll come back to you. Victor?
    Victor: Ummb& we subtracted 7x and 4x?
    Vaudrey: Lorraine?
    Lorraine: We subtracted 7x and 4x.
    Vaudrey: Samantha?
    Samantha: … um b& we subtractedb& 7x and 4x.

    I wasnbt surprised to note that she didnbt actually look at the board until she responded.

    A few days later, the bDiscuss with your tableb song was playing, and I swung by Samanthabs desk, knelt down, and whispered,

    bIbm going to call on you, and you say, bparallelb, got it?b
    Her eyebrows shot up and she pleaded, bNo!b
    I gave a comforting smile, bThatbs it. Just say, bparallelb. You can do it.b

    The song ended and 28 students returned their focus toward the screen at the front.

    bBefore we talk about slope, Samantha. Are these lines perpendicular or parallel?b

    All 28 students turned toward the new girl. She stared blankly at the board. Come on, Samantha. You gotB this, I thought, my marker in the air. Like my instructions, the marker did not waver, but pointedB straight at her.

    Samantha took a breath.

    bParallel,b she said.

    No question, no raised tone at the end. She was confident. Those two lines are parallel.

    I smiled. bGood. Now if these two lines are parallel, then that tells us something about their slope, and I heard some groups talking about it. Ramiro, tell us what your group noticed.b

    After a few dozen of those discussions, Samantha began to blossomB into a confident young mathematician. She persevered, she took risks, B she responded well to the guidance of her classmates to fine-tune her ideas, andB she volunteered answers that were way off (a sure sign of trust).

    She also gave a fantastic 20% time projectB and even came to me early on to ask about changing her group. bI donbt think [other student] willB work as hard as me. Shebll just slow me down.b

    Alright, Samantha. You can work alone.

    ~Matt “Small Successes” Vaudrey

  • Two Schools of Math Teachers

    Today, I witnessed an excellent old-school lesson. The teacher was engaging, funny, and had play-doh on the desks with toothpicks to demonstrate angle relationships to the sophomore Geometry students.

    Students inserted a Cloze Notes-Style handout into their plastic dry-erase sleeve and followed along, filling in words to define the vocabulary in sentence frames. By the end of class, all the students were giving the correct hand signalB for Adjacent Angles, Vertical Angles, and more.

    But something… just didn’t feel right about it.

    No… not right… something didn’t feelB complete about it.

    Earlier this week, I was chatting with John Stevens and Jed Butler on Voxer.

    Picture group texts, but with voice messages instead. It's awesome.
    Voxer – group texts, but with voice messages instead. It’s awesome.

    We had just gotten our issue of CoMmuniCator (the monthly publication of CMC) which featured two-page descriptions of lessons, like visual patternsB and drawing the ideal polygon.

    It occurred to me, those are two things that prominent math educators have doneB extensive work with online, yet CMC has no idea, nor do the teachers who are submitting these articles.

    We appear to have two schools of math teachers.

    The first school is the Math-Twitter-Blog-o-sphere (affectionately and mercifully abbreviated #MTBOS).

    OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

    Hundreds of math educators across the world weigh in on blogs, twitter feeds, and Voxer channels to inform best practices on teachers thousands of miles away that they’ve never met. The focus is professional growth that helps students learn mathematics in a meaningful way.

    The second school is the CoMmuniCator crowd.

    Fenced_Pond_-_geograph.org.uk_-_69202

    They spend hours writing a two-page description of visual patterns in their math classroom, include a worksheet, and submit it to the local Math Education journal, feeling satisfied: that their environment is full of opportunities like this.

    To these, I insist; there is so much more than your pond.

    Clouds_over_the_Atlantic_Ocean from wikimedia

    Outside the pond, there is a wide large world full of dynamic educators whose students aren’t just learning the standards, they’re learning to wrestle,

    to challenge,

    to critique,

    to debate,

    to seek meaning out of chaos.

    In short, there is an ocean of educators growing children into little mathematicians while others are makingB really cool photocopies in their pond.

    I’m not saying that they’re bad teachers. Not that they’re boring.

    Just that they’re missing out.

    I’ve had dozens of conversations with math teachers since my recent job change to EdTech Coach. Less than half have heard of Dan Meyer or Desmos.

    Evelyn Baracaldo, a representative of NCTM 2015 – Nashville, sent out a few emails to teachers (including me), inviting us to present on “Emerging Technologies”. Some digging on my part revealed:

    • The deadline to submit proposals is 15 months before the conference date. (Proposals for a conference on “emerging technologies”.)
    • There will be no wireless internet available.
    What?

    NCTM, the largest group of Math Educators in the nation, is missing the point.

    EDIT: Shortly after posting this, I had lunch with Robert Kaplinksy, who convinced me that NCTM reaching out to blogging, tweeting teachers like me is a step in the right direction,B and I should lighten up.

    He’s correct. Afterward, I applied toB give a workshopB at NCTM Nashville.

    This feels like the keynote addressB at Twitter Math Camp (which I didn’t attend this year, though I heard whispers and elevator summaries). Those of us in the ocean have a vested interest inB theB thousands of ponds across the country.

    Backyard Pond by Todd Ryburn
    Some of those ponds are excellent and need no help.

    This year, I’m excited to show the pond-fish just how big the ocean is.

    UPDATE 3 MARCH 2015: The California Mathematics Council continues to borrow blog posts in print form,B with three-acts and visual patternsB in the March issue. I have mad respect for Brad Fulton, butB surely he’s aware of Dan Meyer’s work on the three acts of a mathematical story.

    Also, it’s cringeworthy that CMC appears unaware of Desmos andB still uses Comic Sans.

    ~Matt “The Sand Shark” Vaudrey

  • Open Letter to Tom Torlakson, California Superintendent

    Mr. Torlakson,

    Good morning, you’ve no doubt heard that theB existing tenure situation was ruled unconstitutional yesterday.

    I myself was tearing up as I read the brief. For my entire career, I’ve felt what the court realized yesterday, and my relief and joy nearly made me weep during my meeting.

    Mr. Torlakson, you’reB currently “farther up” in the education chain of command than I–a lowly teacher–so it’s been a while since you’ve sat in a staff meeting or observed stinky teaching by a tenured “permanent” teacher.

    It’s probably been even longer since you watched a stinky teacher make more money than you. For me, that memory is fresh.

    Anyway, let’s talk about education.

    In the court briefing:

    “… teachers themselves do not want grossly ineffective colleagues in the classroom.” (page 13, line 1)

    If I were in your position, posed for reelection,B I would be tempted to please the California Teacher’s Association (one of my biggest supporters) in order to secure my seat in November.

    I’m asking that you focus on the students instead. Our students deserve great teachers, and as State Superintendent, you’ll have the proper pull toB drive the design of a system where great teaching is rewarded. This would helpB flush out the dummies and keep the hard-working professionals.

    I hope you see that, by encouraging teachers to be our best, we place the students first.

    In short, I’m a teacher, and my right to a job matters less than my students’ right to a quality education.

    Mr. Torlakson, please support this court ruling in the next few months and continue to reform teacher tenure after your (probable) reelection in November.

    ~Matt Vaudrey

    UPDATE June 25, 2014:

    P.S. No doubt that by now, you’ve read the highly polarized brief fromB the CTA website, you’ve heard complaints that the “1-3% of teachers are grossly ineffective” statistic is unfounded on any data or studies, and you’ve seen that Students First is hailing the decision as an important step, with many more to address going forward.

    Two things:

    1. As a classroom teacher, the “guesstimate” of 1-3% of all teachers are grossly ineffective is not only statistically likely, but it sounds pretty generous based on my anecdotal experience.
    2. The CTA press releases are full of negative language and the Students First releases are full of optimism and urgency. Why do you think that is?

  • Common Core Will Not Eat Your Babies

    Let me tell you a story.

    I’ve taught next door, across the building, and across campus from some really bad teachers.

    unhelpful teacher

    I have sat in staff meeting at the same table asB teachers who give printed notes to students to copy down into their notebook,B and that is theirB sole class activity for the year.

    As a teacher, my profession is cheapened if badB teachers aren’t held accountable.B That’s why we have standards; so that there is a minimum expectation to guide teachers and students.

    I have a daughter (and a son on the way). In a few years when I send her to school, I expect the school to do a good job training her in skills she’ll need to be successful. Some things will come easily to her, some will be more difficult, and some will sit in darkness until a special teacher shines a light on them.

    When I send my child to school, I’m giving my acceptance that school will do a good job. If I don’t like it, I can pull her out and home-schoolB or private-school her.

    my-child-is-not-common-ap

    Of course, your child isn’t common. No child is.

    Schools do the best that weB can with the diverse, unique students that are sent through our doors every day.

    Therein lies my problem with the advocates against the Common Core;

    If you don’t like it, you can leave.

    Otherwise, you’re justB the kid who goes to a birthday party and complains about the flavor of cake.

    (Parents Against Chocolate Fudge)
    (Concerned Parents Against Chocolate Fudge)

    ~Matt “Not afraid of Common Core, but a little afraid of the trolls this post will attract” Vaudrey

  • Sure Feels Like Quitting

    Wednesday – Last Day in the Classroom

    All four periods requested to throw a going-away party. I can take that as a sweet sentiment after I’ve made a difference in their lives all year…or a bunch of middle-schoolers lunging at any opportunity to have soda in class.

    It’s probably about 30-70.

    We packed up my personal effects, snacked on Hot Cheetos for 50 minutes, cleaned up for 3 minutes, then I told them this:

    “In cultures, when people are leaving to do new things, usually they are given a blessing or a commission. As my 8th graders promote to high school, usually I give a blessing, but I am leaving early, so we’re doing it today.B Some cultures place hands on the shoulders of the person who’s leaving, but there are too many of you, so I’ll just do this:”

    I hold my hands out over them, palms down.

    “May you be passionate problem-solvers and curious critics. May you be loyal to your friends, obedient to people in charge, friendly to strangers, and kind to those in need. May you be safe, healthy, loved, and happy, and may you becomeB more of those every day. May you every day become a better version of yourself. You have 54 days left of 8th grade. Make them count.”

    Bell rings. Out they go. I turn in my keys and leave.

    Tuesday – Two Days Left in the Classroom

    Vaudrey: You know how sometimes I’m silly and tell jokes? This isn’t one of those times. What I’m about to tell you isn’t a joke.

    Nathan: Are you dying?
    Jane: Are we in trouble?
    Angel: He’s totally dying.
    Diane: Just shut up and listen to him!

    Vaudrey: You will have a sub on Thursday and Friday; you already knew that. And when you come back from Spring Break, you will have a different math teacher. Tomorrow B is my last day here with you.

    Class: What? Why?

    Vaudrey: Those meetings I had at the District were job interviews. I’m going to be a Teacher Coach. I’ll take ideas from what our class does and go show other classes how to do it.

    Noah: Wow. This sucks.
    Diana: No! You’re the reason I get excited about learning!
    Marie starts crying.
    Ashley:B Can I have your Justin Bieber Picture?
    Alex: Can I have your Mr. Vaudrey sign?
    Asia: You should give us something because we’re your favorite class.
    Andy: Do you get paid more money?
    Laura: What kind of cake do you like?
    Mando: Does your wife know about this?
    Vaudrey: Yeah, she’s okay with it.
    Victor: Of courseB sheB is;B she’sB not getting herB heartB broken!
    Vaudrey: Please keep it quiet until the end of the day, so I can tell each class personally. I want them to hear it from me.
    Linda: [Red-faced and tears in her eyes] What if I can’t learn from the new teacher?

    Monday – Three Days Left in the Classroom

    “Did you get the joab?” Asked Ms. Zipper–my RSP Aide for 5th period–her distinct Brooklyn accent apparent in her enthusiasm.

    “Yeah, I did.” I gave a pained grin. “It’s bittersweet; I don’t want to leave my students mid-year.”

    “Oh!” She stammered. “When do you start?”

    “The Monday after break. My last day is Wednesday.”

    “This Wednesday?” Asked Zipper, her eyebrows raising and head tilting in a distinct New England mannerism. “Yoah kids are gonna lose it.”

    Friday – Four Days Left in the Classroom

    My phone rings as I’m grading our benchmarks in the teacher’s lounge. It’s Bobbi from district H.R.,B offering me a position as Professional Development Specialist. She says I start Monday, April 7th.

    April 7th is the first day back from our 2-week Spring Break, which starts Friday.
    Plus the CUE Conference is this Thursday-Saturday.

    I gulped, realizing that I had three more days with my students to tell them, pack up my class, and leave.

    Well… shoot.

    ~Matt “Change Hurts” Vaudrey

    *That was the humblest way I could explain what a Professional Development Specialist does, without making it sound like I’m ditching them.

  • Why Teachers Should Blog

    First, let’s address the dumb word. Blog.

    Sounds like a Star Wars villain.

    "You'll never catch me, Skywalker!"
    “You’ll never catch me, Skywalker!”

    It’s short for Web-Log, but nonetheless, the term is a poor approximation for the amount of good stuff happening online.

    Kate Nowak–at least 20% of the brains behind Mathalicious–asked for some input on Teacher Blogging, so here it is:

    1. What hooked you on reading the blogs? Was it a particular post or person? Was it an initiative by the nice MTBoS folks? A colleague in your building got you into it? Desperation?

    Desperation. During my first year teaching, I found myself regularly journaling, “There hasB got to be an easier/better/more fun/cheaper way of teaching this concept”.

    After exhausting my master teacher (and getting plenty of good ideas from her), I took to the internet and found teacher blogs: people who were not only sharing their successes, but also their failures and shortcomings. I would find a cool lesson and read about a teacher in Mississippi whose 6th period was just as unruly as my 3rd period.

    As a first-year teacher, that feeling was like being back in the first grade and finding out that Jeremy struggled with chin-ups, too.

    2. What keeps you coming back? What’s the biggest thing you get out of reading and/or commenting?

    The collection of math teachers online is like having a staff lounge with only trustworthy, non-grizzled, innovative veterans, all of whom will happily share all their secrets for free.

    If such a thing existed in the automotive business, all cars would run on tap water and get 400 miles per gallon.

    In commenting, I get to share my own [limited] experience with teachers, many of whom are new to the gig. It feels like giving back.

    And it’s real humbling to see big names in Education commenting also, or people giving comments much more astute and helpful than my own. It’s good to be humbled sometimes.

    3. If you write, why do you write? What’s the biggest thing you get out of it?

    I love running my new lessons through a checkoff of sorts. Through blogging (and Twitter) I can ask teaching questions to a specific audience and get only the advice I want. Example below; read a few of these:

    I asked people across the state about a project my class was doing and got all those responses within 24 hours. Not bad.

    4. If you chose to enter a room where I was going to talk about blogging for an hour (or however long you could stand it), what would you hope to be hearing from me? MTBoS cheerleading and/or tourism? How-to’s? Stories?

    A few things:

    Tier your instruction (eh? Get it?) so that you can address both the non-bloggers and the established bloggers. Do that by describing what blogging is in its ideal form. That will inspire a beginning in those that don’t blog yet, and an advancement in those who already do.

    Emphasize how easy it is to join. When I spoke on Twitter last month, I called it “a wide rushing river that is full of chatter and intimidating to look at, but dipping your toes into it is easy.”

    On your blog, you mentioned “written, public reflection”. Touch on how the worst employees in any profession are those accountable to no one. Written, public reflection provides a respectful vulnerability. There is something powerful in two parties saying, “I’m imperfect and I need help,” and “So are we, here are some ideas.”

    Good luck.

    ~Matt “Romanticized and Touchy-feely” Vaudrey

  • Tony Danza and Haiti

    This will be short. I’m spending every waking minute prepping my presentations for conferences at CLMS South and CMC South (featuring John Stevens), so blogging has fallen by the wayside.

     

    This morning, I was driving to work listening to Tony Danza’s book on tape (which I highly recommend for teachers and gentiles alike). He was talking about the Haiti crisis, and I was reminded of where I was on that day in 2010.

    The Charter School where I taught was taking donations to fund the relief effort. Some of my students scoffed as the ASB representative came in to collect. Others in the back where chatting about the upcoming dance. One was drawing.

    I took all the change out of my drawer and some cash from my wallet and stuffed it in the jar. At this point in the year, my students knew that I wasn’t flaunting, but trying to model for them. I could have stepped outside to donate privately, but… whatever. They need to know that it’s important.

    Angel was a quiet first-generation English speaker who had recently been revealed as ROCKET, the graffiti artist terrorizing books and bathroom stalls.

    “Mr. Vaudrey!” Angel calls from the back row. “DoB you think we should give money to Haiti?”

    All at once, the class falls silent.

    All 31 sets of hands immediately stopped what they were doing and 31 pairs of eyes were fixed on me, still standing at the front of the class after the ASB rep left.

    I took a deep breath.

    “IfB I were hurting,” I begin, my eyes unexpectedly filling with tears. “I’d want somebody to come toB my rescue.”

    I’m getting choked up now just writing this and thinking about what an awful day that was for the hundreds of thousands of Haitian people.

    I really hope that those students heard me.

    ~Matt Vaudrey

  • Not One Of Those Days

    There are days when I love my job. Days when I know that some students combated their ignorance with their effort and triumphed. Days when I lay my head on my pillow at night knowing that I did my very best and I changed lives.

    Today was not one of those days.

    Today was a “Put on Rage Against the Machine and scream at the steering wheel on the way to a church board meeting” days.

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfhJV9FZGAk]

    (NOTE: That video probably has some swearing in it. So does this post.)

    I mean, most of my classes were fine. Kids worked hard, performed well in groups, and built on basic skills AND graphingba quite successful day.

    Except 4th period.

    Like a swarm of locusts, they descended on my ramp. Already pushing, yelling, and making inappropriate jokes. I held out my hand for them to shake (as I do every day) and one student flat out refused.

    I knew a storm was brewing.

    I battened down the hatches and piloted a new game for them, but it was no use. I sent two students to the office before we even finished the warm-up. They made it clear they had no intention of contributing to the class, yet I felt a twinge of regret as I called for their escortbsurely I could have done something differently.

    The day progressed and three students earned detentions (gum, gum, and continued disruption) before we did our 6 times tables and left.

    Then the real show began.

    Figure 2: An orderly and respectful classroom

    Ryan stayed after school to grudgingly serve his gum detention. I instructed him to move the desks into the configuration I projected on the wall.

    bIbm hungry! I donbt wanna do anything!b

    Deep breath. bRyan, you have two options: You can do 15 minutes with me without complaining or you can do two lunch detenbb

    bBut Ibm hungry! I donbt wanna do this!b

    bIs that your choice then? The two lunch detentions? I can have Ms. Holwood call you out tomorrow to talk about it.b

    bb&no.b Ryan stuck up his lip in a perfect teenage sneer. This could have been the cover of Teenage Sneer Monthly.

    Figure 3: The “Hiding Gin In A Water Bottle” Issue

    bOkay, then. Your two options are 15 minutes with me without complaining or interrupting, or two lunch detentions with Ms. Holwood. Whatbs it gonna be?b

    bHere!b

    For the next two minutes, Ryan held a desk and wiggled it when I looked his way. Then he acted surprised when I sent him out.

    He paused at the door and screamed, bI hate you!b before pounding a chair and my door with his fists and storming down my ramp.

    Figure 4: How he felt vs. How he sounded

    Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. My students mostly like mebeven the ones that dislike me donbt hate me.

    I felt like absolute shit for a couple hours, even though experts in teenage defiance (the RSP teacher, my youth pastor wife) assured me that it was just bwhat they dob.

    Doesn’t matter. I felt (and still feel) that I could have done something different to avoid this situation without compromising the order of my classroom.

    Oh, well. I have two days without Ryan in my classroom to think about it. Hebs on class suspension pending a parent conference. I guess that means I win.

    Sure donbt feel like a winner.

    Concerned Parents Against Funfetti

    UPDATE 10 October 2012

    After a phone conference with dad and a day of class suspension, Ryan and I agreed on a hand signal for him to indicate to me when he is getting angry.

    Today’s art project and lesson went swimmingly for all classes (including 4th period sans Ryan). Today I feel like a winner.

  • Dear President Obama

    Dear President Obama,

    I gave you my vote in 2008 and I am still 100% glad that I did. Ibve never doubted you in your 14 months so far and I think youbre fabulous. This is a letter commending your triumphs because you are an easy man to criticize; people love to throw stones at the TV screen knowing the President wonbt yell back.

    As an American, Ibm fan of Healthcare reform. So committed, in fact, that I find myself in the minority for the first time in my life. Ibm a White, Protestant, Middle-class male with a Masterbs degree. Ibm from an upper-middle class family and so is my wife.

    Ibm in the minority for this reason: Ibm prepared to pay more taxes for the same health coverage so that medical coverage could be provided to those less fortunate than I am. Ibm sure if everybody thought this way, webd have a bill already, but Ibm prepared to wait until we find a bill that people quit complaining about.

    (And Ibll tell any Republicans I know to put some of their energy into building bills instead of tearing them down.)

    Unrelated to health care, I support several unpopular ideas and I figured that youbd like a voice in the trenches. So here it is from an educator:

    Merit Pay is a great idea if properly and concretely implemented. I wonbt suggest what that system will be, but I can say from my own experience that teachers who stink are kept in the payroll way too long. Exciting and motivated teachers have little incentive to do a good job when tenured teachers get paid more to sit behind their desk and hand out worksheets. Itbs depressing.

    NCLB is hated universally among teachers that I know. We all agree that the students in our classes need better skills and that a great way to measure that is test scores, but to claim that all schools reach an API score of 800 by the year 2014 is ridiculous. If you donbt know much about API, then you can trust me on this; itbs ridiculous.

    We understand that the White House has bigger fish to fry than No Child Left Behind reform. For now, we teachers are fine to just b& not talk about it.

    Itbs also pretty apparent that youbre not a big fan of people applauding you; I respect that and empathize. I giggled when Michelle motioned for the house to bsit downb during the standing ovation for her obesity plan.

    All that to say that I think youbre great and I will support you until you do something crazy, like invade Canada

    b& and probably even after that. They’ve been asking for it, eh.

    ~V

  • I thought I’d heard it all

    I thought Ibd heard it all.

    At first, Jane was just another bproblem studentb who had trouble focusing. She claimed that she was just hyper, or just had a bunch of candy; the usual excuses. I thought that I had made a breakthrough when she told me she was dyslexic. My eyes lit up as I moved her to the front of the class and provided the notes in advance with blanks for her to fill in. I was excited to be able to meet her needs as a teacher.

    Then she started missing school. Shebd come in late with a limp and ask to be left alone for the day.B bWhatbs the matter? Hungover again?bB Ibd smirk.

    bSomething like that,b she said with a weak smile. Later that day, shebd murmur something about a spinal tap.

    bOh, man!bB I said,B bmy sister had one of those and she got awful headaches.b

    bYeah,b she said. bI have headaches; I couldnbt do the homework last night.b A pretty weak excuse as excuses go. Ibve heard a lot of them. Ibve heard a lot of excuses.

    Then shebd miss a whole day. She came back to class with no energy and didnbt have the pluck to talk to her classmates during the lesson or distract her neighbor. bI was with family. Therebs drama at my house. I couldnbt finish the project.b Ibve heard that one a lot, but I give grace for unstable home lives. I thought Ibd heard it all.

    Soon she was out a whole week at a time. The office would call and say that Jane was in the hospital and her mom was coming to pick up her assignments. Hospital is a good excuse. One of the best Ibve heard. I thought Ibd heard it all.

    When she got back, Ibd be patient and show her what she missed. Jane was pretty bright and could have gotten an A if she were in class more often. I would tell her that when filling her in on the Perimeter and Area of Trapezoids.

    Eventually, she leveled with me.

    bMr. V, I have cancer.b

    I thought Ibd heard it all.

    bLike bad cancer?bB I asked.

    bWell, itbs a b& osteoblastomab& I think.b

    I know enough to know that having bblastb in the name isnbt a good sign, but I keep a straight face.B So whatbs the plan?

    bNothing,b she shrugged.

    bWhat do you mean, nothing? I mean whatbs the plan for treatment? Chemo? Radiation?b

    bNope. I donbt want none of that. My auntie had cancer in her face, and even after they took it out, she still has it, like under her eye. The radiation just made her hair fall out. Ibm already losing my hair and I ainbt gonna be one of them bald girls.b

    I tilted my head sideways. bSob& thatbs it? Just giving up? How long do you have?b

    bWell, the doctor says if I eat right and take the pills then I could have years left, but I donbt even eat at all now and those pills make me tired. So maybeb&six months?b

    I thought Ibd heard it all.

    bWhy not fight it?b

    bOh, uh-uh. I saw what it did to my auntie. Three weeks in a hospital and it didnbt even cure nothing. I hate hospitals to begin with. I ainbt doin that. My momma wants me to do the treatment, but she knows itbs my life. Itbs my decision.b

    bHmmb&Ibm curious why not; it seems like you haveB yearsB to gain by risking weeks.b

    bMr. V, it sounds like you trying to convince me.b She grins a winning smile, white teeth against her dark skin.

    bNo; youbre going to do what you want to do. I just want to understand you and make sure you know what youbre doing. Do you journal?b

    bNo.b

    bYou should start.b

    bWhy?b

    bBecause,bB I say, touching my head. bThe right side of your brain is where emotions lie and the left side is where speech, writing, and logic lie. By writing or talking about your feelings, you move the ideas to the logic side and can see things more clearly. Think about it.b

    bOkay, Mr. V.b She grins and goes to lunch.

    I thought Ibd heard it all.

    Turns out, she was full of shit. She knew all along it was a cyst.

    ~V