There are a few things that I do pretty well in class. One of them is getting quickly and easily thrown off-track when students make me laugh. The other is review games.
Earlier this week, a teammate sent me a Jeopardy game for Equations.
So we played Jeopardy.
Students volunteered to be Alex Trebek and select the category on the projector. “Combining Like Terms for 200: Three ex plus… uh… you can just read it.”
The students caught on to Jeopardy very quickly.
Vaudrey: b &and in Final Jeopardy, each player wagers part of their score on the right answer.
Student: Oh, man! I donb t know anything! Can I wager negative?
Vaudrey: Then you would lose points if you got it right.
Student: But Ib d gain points when I get it wrong.
Clearly, Randy understands the unit on negative numbers from last week.
I want the whole class to get a shot, so I had to rotate them out every three questions or so.
Vaudrey: James, make room for the newcomers.
Stef: Ib m a newcomer.
Daniel: Ib m a cucumber.
After Jeopardy, we played a game I made up called Drag Race. Using this projection on the wall.
Each team decides on their icon and the icon advances as their team advances.
White Students: We’ll be Team Cracker!
Vaudrey: That’s an Apple Pie.
White Students: Oh… well, that’s cool, too.
And after a few minutes of play:
Daniel: Justin Bieber is beating Mexico! Aw, hell, no!
b Mr. Vaudrey, Ib m stuck on this problem.b Nathan waved me over during after-school tutoring one day in April 2011.
b Okay, let me have a look.b I said, leaning over his table.
b Ah,b I straightened and strode to the whiteboard, pulling a marker from my back pocket. b I recommend plugging each point into the function and seeing if they work. Three of them wonb t work. The one left over is the correct answer.b
Nathan scrunched his nose and furrowed his brow. b That seems like going around the b & the idea. Isnb t there, like, a formula or something?b
b Well, in this case, the line is the solution to that function, so youb re seeing which of these points fit inside the solution.b
Nathan leaned back. b Yeah, I get it. It just doesnb t feel like good math.b
I laughed, b Yeah, well sometimes in real life, you gotta try stuff until something works.b
[
B b Mister Vaudreeeeee!b Natalie screeched, sprinting across the classroom with Jenny in tow. b Somebody took my pink pen.b
Itb s January of 2008, my first year teaching. I am drowning in the flow of my responsibilities without the skills to paddle my way out. We just got back into class from a fire drill and Natalie is distraught.
b It was her Christmas present, Mr. Vaudrey.b Jenny states with a somber face. b It was a Gel Sparkle.b
b Okay.b I rub my eyes, deciding if this is worth my trouble. Deep in my psyche is a youth pastor, feeling the need to be liked by my students and wanting to play a little joke on the other students. I lean in close and say, b Watch this.b
b Alright, listen up!b I stride purposefully from my desk to the front of the class. b Whoever took Natalieb s gel pen, give it back or the whole class gets detention. I am not kidding!b
The irony being that I totally was kidding. I had no intention of giving anybody detention, especially if Natalie got her pen back.
This was an interesting time in my teaching career. I recognized the importance of honesty and the reward that had to be inherent.
B If Chris stole Natalie’s pen and gave it back, he took a risk and was honest. If I give him detention, he learns that itb s better to be sneaky and avoid consequence.
If I give Chris thanks for stepping up and congratulate his boldness to take responsibility, I show him that redemption is more gratifying than sneakiness
Yet in this situation, Ib m prepared to make an idle threat to the whole class in hopes that Natalie could possibly have her stupid pen returned.
Nobody produced the pen, and nobody got detention.
The students left knowing that I sometimes make threats where I donb t follow through. If I were a student, I would store that information for later. Perhaps when I get in trouble, I can point out Mr. Vaudreyb s inconsistency with b But you didnb t take away Adrianb s phone when he was texting!b
Later that year, two students had their pencils stolen during fire drills. I ignored it.
[
Ehhn! Ehhn! Ehhn!
The students looked up from their books as the fire alarm grabbed their attention.
b Alright, folks. Grab your pencils and head outside!b I shout over the siren and point towards the door.
b Pencils? Why are web b
b No time to ask questions! Itb s a fire drill! Get outside if you donb t wanna burn, child!b With eyes wide, I gestured dramatically toward the door.
The students smile, pocket their pencils and head out the door in a bunch. Once in the evacuation zone, I line them up and take attendance.
Back in the classroom 20 minutes later, a student asks, b Mr. Vaudrey, why did we take our pencils?b
I think back to Natalie and her stolen Sparkle pen and say. b Firewood. We donb t want to give the fire anything more to burn. Now, let’s talk more about Vectors.b
Don’t get me wrong, some blue-collar jobs are great. I was a janitor for 4 and a half years and I loved probably four of them. It’s incredibly gratifying to work with your hands and immediately see results. I left that job due to a sense of typical entitlement: I’m about to get a college degree; I can do better than this.
I am currently a Geometry teacher at an arts school and I have found a medium where I’m able to interact with students, enlighten supple minds, and quip fun facts about Latin words and Religion. No job is perfect, but while I may voice my concerns to my wife and close friends, I am still bursting with gratitude that I have a job that doesn’t suck. It’s also in a field that I actually like. I’ve seen dozens of aging Baby Boomers working the Returns counter at Wal-Mart and none of them are too happy to be doing it.
To back up my claim that the recession is good for our kids: here are a few direct quotes from the internet:
Play unnoticeably on your browser at work!
Today, my co-workers decided to play a round of “Who can piss off the boss the most?”. I didn’t play, but I still won. FML
Check out this video! NSFW!
There are 37 million Google results for “kill time at work”, including this article on ehow.com, which gives “productive” ways to piddle away the weekday. I had to look up NSFW a few weeks ago, while I was reading an article online (It was during my break period; don’t judge me).
In the movie Office Space, Jennifer Aniston laments “Everybody hates their job”. Unfortunately, this sentiment is a poor sampling of Humanity and an even poorer sampling of the United States. An individual can make $9 an hour testing video games; our country is awesome.
Enter the recession.
Suddenly, those who hated their jobs are wishing they had it back. Suddenly, $40,000 a year isn’t a right, it’s a privilege, and you may have to actually… *sigh*… apply yourself and earn the paycheck. Suddenly, if you hate your job, you aren’t “everybody”, you’re an ungrateful douche, and probably a little arrogant also.
Hence, the growing “Get a College Degree or Live with your Parents Forever” movement gains more steam as even Wal-Mart employees have 12 years experience in retail and a law degree.
Now, the entitled American teenager who plans to work as a receptionist with his/her high school degree must get some experience, get a degree in Administration, and most likely have a skill set.
You know, other than texting and hiding gin in an Arrowhead bottle.
Further, college students who have accepted allowances from their parents during college in the past must now compete for Starbucks and Albertson’s jobs and… go to work often. I recall sleeping through at least two shifts at Subway when I was in college, in addition to arriving late and leaving early. If I were to do that now, there would be a dozen other collegiates looking to earn $7.50 an hour to sling pressed turkey. How else will we afford EasyMac?
Yup. It appears that the United States will be joining the rest of the world in budgeting, saving money, reducing debt, raising productivity, and planning ahead.
Except that 67% of us are obese while we do it. Happy Hanukkah.
I gave you my vote in 2008 and I am still 100% glad that I did. Ib ve never doubted you in your 14 months so far and I think youb re fabulous. This is a letter commending your triumphs because you are an easy man to criticize; people love to throw stones at the TV screen knowing the President wonb t yell back.
As an American, Ib m fan of Healthcare reform. So committed, in fact, that I find myself in the minority for the first time in my life. Ib m a White, Protestant, Middle-class male with a Masterb s degree. Ib m from an upper-middle class family and so is my wife.
Ib m in the minority for this reason: Ib m prepared to pay more taxes for the same health coverage so that medical coverage could be provided to those less fortunate than I am. Ib m sure if everybody thought this way, web d have a bill already, but Ib m prepared to wait until we find a bill that people quit complaining about.
(And Ib ll tell any Republicans I know to put some of their energy into building bills instead of tearing them down.)
Unrelated to health care, I support several unpopular ideas and I figured that youb d like a voice in the trenches. So here it is from an educator:
Merit Pay is a great idea if properly and concretely implemented. I wonb t suggest what that system will be, but I can say from my own experience that teachers who stink are kept in the payroll way too long. Exciting and motivated teachers have little incentive to do a good job when tenured teachers get paid more to sit behind their desk and hand out worksheets. Itb s depressing.
NCLB is hated universally among teachers that I know. We all agree that the students in our classes need better skills and that a great way to measure that is test scores, but to claim that all schools reach an API score of 800 by the year 2014 is ridiculous. If you donb t know much about API, then you can trust me on this; itb s ridiculous.
We understand that the White House has bigger fish to fry than No Child Left Behind reform. For now, we teachers are fine to just b & not talk about it.
Itb s also pretty apparent that youb re not a big fan of people applauding you; I respect that and empathize. I giggled when Michelle motioned for the house to b sit downb during the standing ovation for her obesity plan.
All that to say that I think youb re great and I will support you until you do something crazy, like invade Canada
b & and probably even after that. They’ve been asking for it, eh.
At first, Jane was just another b problem studentb who had trouble focusing. She claimed that she was just hyper, or just had a bunch of candy; the usual excuses. I thought that I had made a breakthrough when she told me she was dyslexic. My eyes lit up as I moved her to the front of the class and provided the notes in advance with blanks for her to fill in. I was excited to be able to meet her needs as a teacher.
Then she started missing school. Sheb d come in late with a limp and ask to be left alone for the day.B b Whatb s the matter? Hungover again?b B Ib d smirk.
b Something like that,b she said with a weak smile. Later that day, sheb d murmur something about a spinal tap.
b Oh, man!b B I said,B b my sister had one of those and she got awful headaches.b
b Yeah,b she said. b I have headaches; I couldnb t do the homework last night.b A pretty weak excuse as excuses go. Ib ve heard a lot of them. Ib ve heard a lot of excuses.
Then sheb d miss a whole day. She came back to class with no energy and didnb t have the pluck to talk to her classmates during the lesson or distract her neighbor. b I was with family. Thereb s drama at my house. I couldnb t finish the project.b Ib ve heard that one a lot, but I give grace for unstable home lives. I thought Ib d heard it all.
Soon she was out a whole week at a time. The office would call and say that Jane was in the hospital and her mom was coming to pick up her assignments. Hospital is a good excuse. One of the best Ib ve heard. I thought Ib d heard it all.
When she got back, Ib d be patient and show her what she missed. Jane was pretty bright and could have gotten an A if she were in class more often. I would tell her that when filling her in on the Perimeter and Area of Trapezoids.
Eventually, she leveled with me.
b Mr. V, I have cancer.b
I thought Ib d heard it all.
b Like bad cancer?b B I asked.
b Well, itb s a b & osteoblastomab & I think.b
I know enough to know that having b blastb in the name isnb t a good sign, but I keep a straight face.B So whatb s the plan?
b Nothing,b she shrugged.
b What do you mean, nothing? I mean whatb s the plan for treatment? Chemo? Radiation?b
b Nope. I donb t want none of that. My auntie had cancer in her face, and even after they took it out, she still has it, like under her eye. The radiation just made her hair fall out. Ib m already losing my hair and I ainb t gonna be one of them bald girls.b
I tilted my head sideways. b Sob & thatb s it? Just giving up? How long do you have?b
b Well, the doctor says if I eat right and take the pills then I could have years left, but I donb t even eat at all now and those pills make me tired. So maybeb &six months?b
I thought Ib d heard it all.
b Why not fight it?b
b Oh, uh-uh. I saw what it did to my auntie. Three weeks in a hospital and it didnb t even cure nothing. I hate hospitals to begin with. I ainb t doin that. My momma wants me to do the treatment, but she knows itb s my life. Itb s my decision.b
b Hmmb &Ib m curious why not; it seems like you haveB yearsB to gain by risking weeks.b
b Mr. V, it sounds like you trying to convince me.b She grins a winning smile, white teeth against her dark skin.
b No; youb re going to do what you want to do. I just want to understand you and make sure you know what youb re doing. Do you journal?b
b No.b
b You should start.b
b Why?b
b Because,b B I say, touching my head. b The right side of your brain is where emotions lie and the left side is where speech, writing, and logic lie. By writing or talking about your feelings, you move the ideas to the logic side and can see things more clearly. Think about it.b
b Okay, Mr. V.b She grins and goes to lunch.
I thought Ib d heard it all.
Turns out, she was full of shit. She knew all along it was a cyst.
Historically, the first people to get laid off are the part-time, substitute, and intern teachers. The term “intern” essentially means “contracted while we feel like it”. At any point the intern teacher can be served with a March 15 letter with the phrase “services no longer needed” buried into a lot of legal fluff.
The term “March 15 letter” refers to the deadline given by California Education Code; it’s the last possible date to let a teacher now that they must begin looking for a job. Every year, around April, dozens of recently polished resumes and recommendations flood recruiting websites like edjoin.org in an effort for new teachers to find the next “intern” position. Eventually, the intern earns enough clout to earn “tenure” which guarantees them a spot for the next year.
At least… that’s how it usually is.
A school that doesn’t have a union is a rarity in Southern California. Here, the powerhouse Union negotiators have lawyers and press agents on speed dial, ready to pounce on administrators the moment they start to show shady behavior.
Many charter schools are union-free, largely because of the odd curriculum and regular teacher turnover. It is not uncommon for some charter schools to see 30% turnover every year. The teachers at one such union-free school, unfortunately, have no advocate.
So when several teachers are laid off in late July, they are, as the French say, le screwed.
The reason the March 15 deadline exists is to allow veteran teachers a fighting chance to get the most desirable positions. Several veteran teachers (in a school without tenure) were recently canned largely, it is believed, due to the high cost of their salary.
Why keep a $70,000 English teacher when you can get a fresh one for $45,000?
With a never-ending supply of fresh, inexperienced teachers, this pattern can be continued indefinitely, constantly removing teachers from the posts when they begin to be excellent and raise student test scores.
I teach math at a charter school. This school is certainly different; there is an arts emphasis as well as business and college prep emphasis. I teach Geometry, Algebra I and a CaHSEE prep class so students can practice the math that appears on the California High School Exit Exam (CaHSEE). I want to share something that happened today.
I met my CaHSEE class for the first time and there were only 5 of them. Given that these students are giving up an elective to take math, I figured that their attitudes would be less than stoked to meet me. After blowing through the syllabus, I decided that getting to know these students would be more beneficial than having them build a tower using a pencil, two pieces of paper and a piece of tape, like the other periods did. This is how the conversation went around the circle:
Mr. V: Okay, I’d like to go around and say your name, the best part of your summer, and your favorite thing to do when you’re not studying for the CaHSEE.
Triscia: I’m Triscia, the best part of my summer was going to Disneyland, and when I’m not studying for the CaHSEE, I like to…. I donno, go to the mall or watch TV.
Chuck: I’m Chuck, the best part of my summer was… I donno, kicking it with friends, and when I’m not studying for the CaHSEE, I like to listen to music.
Seth: I’m Seth and… my summer wasn’t really that good; I just got out of the juvenile detention center and… um… I met a girl, I proposed to her last night and she said yes. When I’m not studying for the CaHSEE, I love to play Basketball, it’s my favorite sport.
Mr. V: Congratulations on your engagement!
I managed to catch Seth after class. “Hey, Seth. That took a lot of guts, man; revealing to a group of people you don’t know that you just got out of jail. I’m impressed; that took a lot of balls.” His response gave me hope for teenagers across America.
“Well, you know, I don’t wanna lie to everybody, I just… I just gotta be real, you know?”
My tolerance for ridiculous questions is pretty high.
Being a 7th grade teacher, that tolerance is tested daily. Here’s an actual conversation that I had today.
V: …so I want you to take pictures of right angles in your house and print them out. You can go to Kinko’s; it costs about 16 cents to print out a picture. Yes, Andrea? Andrea: But what if I have, like, a digital camera… thingy…. that prints the pictures out? V: That’s fine, however you get the pictures is fine. So, you’ll take those pictures and draw a diagonal, making it a right triangle…. yes, Nancy? Nancy: But what if… umm… like, what if my parents have a photo printer? Do I still have to go to Kinko’s? V: [Redacted] Are you serious? [Redacted]
Okay, I don’t quite say everything out loud that I hear in my head. I have to let out my humor somewhere. The students just don’t get it. Here’s a transcript of a conversation I had no less than 6 times today:
Sam: Mr. V, can I have some extra credit? V: Sure, Sam. Let me bring up your grades… Sam, you have an F. Sam: What?! V: Yeah, you haven’t turned in any homework all quarter. Sam: Awww! Can I have extra credit? V: Sam, why would I give you EXTRA credit, when you don’t do the credit that I give you the first time? Sam: Well, I can’t get an F! My parents will take away my skateboard/cell phone/XBOX! V: Okay, here’s a printout of your assignments. If you do these 12 assignments for tomorrow, you’ll be out of the F range. Sam: That’ll take all night! V: Then perhaps you should do homework the night it is due, instead of doing it all once a month, dumbass. Go soak your head, you’re wasting my time.
I think the students are noticing that I’m more witty when I’m being observed by my bosses, because there are adults in the room who get my jokes. Here’s a discussion from yesterday:
V: How long is side b? Class: 4 units V: Right, so if we’re making a square, how far to the right will we go? Kelly: Mr Vaudrey! Class: 4 units V: Good, how far down? Class: 4 units V: How many? Class: 4 units! Kelly: Mr. Vaudrey! V: Good, how far to the left? Class: 4 Units. V: Okay, show me. Draw the square. Kelly: MEESTER VAUDREY! I’M RAISING MY HAND!!! V: But you’re also shouting, Kelly, so I’m making you wait. You can’t raise your hand and shout at the same time, they don’t go together. It’s like smoking while jogging.
All chatter in the class immediately stops, and through pre-teen eyes, I can see the gears turning.
… he just said a joke, but I don’t get it…
Then the usualB chatter begins.
“My dad smokes.”
“I could never smoke; it’s gross.”
“My momma would kick my ass if I smoked.”
“I want to talk about myself because I’m an early adolescent”
All through the mindless talk, I can hear a hiccuppy chortle; my department head thought it was a good joke.
This is Mr. Vaudrey, Carl’s math teacher at Edgewood Middle School. I wanted to tell you about my interaction with Carl today.
Due to a field trip, I had Carl for the ENTIRE day, and he had shown by the first period that he wasn’t about to do any work. I eventually had him call his dad, after which point, he got very quiet and stayed after the bell to talk to me.
We talked for a little bit and he came out with a comment like, “I can’t do all these assignments, I’m slower than most kids.” I chuckled and said that I didn’t believe him at all. Then he lost it.
He hurled his pencil across the room and stomped toward the door, overturning a math book and chair on his way. He whipped around in the doorway and screamed at me, “I’m sorry about that and I’ll clean it up, but I’m very upset! I KNOW that I’m slower than most kids. I KNOW it! You may say that you don’t believe me, but I know it!”
I said that he didn’t have to go anywhere; he could stay here for a while. As he reached back to punch the wall, I called out “Don’t punch my wall, Carl!” He punched his other hand (which he flattened against the wall), and collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor.
I grabbed some tissues, shut the door, and sat next to him. I guessed he was pretty much done talking, so I took the opportunity to say what I know about him.
I’ve seen students that do homework get test scores lower than him, and he does nothing. That shows that he’s smart.
I told him that he wasn’t born frustrated and thinking he’s slow. Somewhere along the line, he was told that, and he didn’t have to believe it if he didn’t want to.
I asked if he was going to lunch and found out that he spends his lunch money at Chevron before school, buying Sobe and Chee-tohs. I offered him a sandwich, put it next to him, and ate my lunch sitting next to sniffling Carl. When lunch ended, he bid me good-bye and I stopped him, asking if he had forgotten something. I went back to my desk and amended the detention form to LUNCH detention, explaining that a lunch detention is when a student stays in during lunch with a teacher, and then I don’t have to call his dad.
The last period of the day, he was pleasant and compliant. I asked him if I could tell you about it and he said yes.
~Mr. Vaudrey
Later that day, Carl went to lunch, and I went to tell his school counselor about our interaction. She remarked, “Wow, you handled that really well!”
I thought to myself….B yeah, I did. I really enjoyed it, too, as dark as that sounds. I felt more comfortable talking to Carl than any lesson I’ve taughtB ever.B She and I talked for a while longer, and I confided that I was thinking about ditching the teaching gig soon.
Through several conversations in the last few weeks, hers being the most recent, I have concluded that I think school counseling is for me. Federal holidays, better pay, and kids screamingB one at a damn timeB all sound pretty great to me. Also, Carl got more out of our conversation today than any of my students have gotten from my teaching thus far, I can say for certain.
In the great scheme of things, Maria will go through life and never draw another Stem-and-Leaf data plot, but if Carl spends ONE HOUR of his own time thinking, “Maybe I’m not worthless”, then I have fulfilled the duties of my job….
EDIT: This post was miraculously re-posted in 2015. It’s from 2008. I’m keeping it up (with weird sentence structure and grammar errors) because it’s an important part of my past and helped make me the teacher I am today.
While I share Andy‘s unspoken desire to have a steady readership, I haven’t the time to post as regularly as he. My apologies the the 1 of you that have been here in the last week.
Let me tell you about Friday:
The Ides of March
My math coach took me aside this week. She said that I had better start thinking about March 15 and the implications therein (only she didnb t say therein). March 15, I recalled from another conversation, is the date by which teachers will know if they have a job for the next year. Tenured teachers, naturally, have no fear of the Ides of March, but a first-year teacher such as myself may be a bit worried.
Anyway, my math coach said that I had better get my ass in gear when it comes to classroom management and advancing the students towards state standards.
CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT is anything and everything that keeps the class focused in the direction of learning. It can be discipline, rewards, videos, teaching styles, etc.
STATE STANDARDS are the statewide guidelines for what a Xth-grader should know about Math, Science, Art, etc. Schools throughout California are moving toward standards-based grading, which would supplant the old system of A, B, C, D, F and replace it with acronyms like FBB (far below basic) and AD (advanced).
This sidenote brought to you by the letters FBB and AD.
My math coach went on to describe how advancement towards standards would improve once I got the class under control. b They canb t learn from you if they arenb t listening.b
I replied to my math coach that I was doing my level best to get my rowdy class under control. She knows that I came in the middle of the quarter and was prepared to be a pastor, one to whom the kids could talk. Unfortunately for me, the kids donb t want a pastor or a friend, they want boundaries and I was slow to set them.
So now, in late February, Ib ve been getting my ass kicked across the whiteboard for the past 5 months, and they pretty much know what I will and wonb t do to keep them in line (one of those lists is longer than the other).
Finally, my math coach told me that I needed to make significant changes and improvements if I wanted to be invited back next year.
Okay, I told myself. Ib m already putting as much into play as I can. Ib m also a full-time student getting my credential. Itb s a rough week when two days of it are 6:00am b 930pm straight. I can only do so much outside of the classroom with my limited amount of time. I must sleep 8 hours and have time with the wife and friends. I refuse to be a work-aholic, so I monitor my intake of workahol.
I should have known that something was brewing when my Assistant principal called my cell and emailed me last night that he needed me in a 730 meeting before school with the principal and himself. Ever the flexible employee, I said that I could make it. I guessed what was coming when they both came in quietly and the principal had an envelope with my name on it.
After reading the required legal jargon about the district b exploring more experienced career alternativesb and b declining to renew contractual agreementsb , he began by saying what a hard situation I came into this year, how the kids were defiant and the middle of the quarter is a terrible time to begin teaching.
He then went on to say that this school is under b program improvementb , a term that I knew. It meant that a certain group performs so poorly on standardized tests that the watchful eye of Uncle Sam comes to pay a visit. In this case, the group was the students I inherited this year. The district believes that the best way to bring their scores up is not to hand them over to a first-year teacher with classroom management problems.
And with that, my teaching career in West Covina came to a halt. Then I went on to finish the day of classes. Shwell. And as of June 19th, I will be unemployed.
Andrea and I both view this as somewhat of an out. I have been miserable doing 16 hour days and struggling through a class of defiant, obnoxious kids that hate me and donb t want to learn. Ib m not even sure that I want to teach! Why in the hell did I take a teaching job right after getting married?
That is the question Ib ve been asking myself; what do I want to be doing at this stage in my life? The answer may or may not be teaching, it may be counseling, it may be subbing, it may be nursing, it may be cougar circumcision.
Whatever it is, I have learned a lot in the last 5 months and will learn even more in the next 4 months. Ib ve become a better communicator, Ib ve learned to reason with middle schoolersb & actually, I suppose Ib ve learned when to reason and when to say b siddown, because I said so.b Ib ve learned how to plan a lesson, how to introduce a concept, how to utilize the power of divided labor.
And, in the spans of teaching four 53-minute classes in a row, I got really good at holding my pee.