I thought I’d heard it all

I thought Ibd heard it all.

At first, Jane was just another bproblem studentb who had trouble focusing. She claimed that she was just hyper, or just had a bunch of candy; the usual excuses. I thought that I had made a breakthrough when she told me she was dyslexic. My eyes lit up as I moved her to the front of the class and provided the notes in advance with blanks for her to fill in. I was excited to be able to meet her needs as a teacher.

Then she started missing school. Shebd come in late with a limp and ask to be left alone for the day.B bWhatbs the matter? Hungover again?bB Ibd smirk.

bSomething like that,b she said with a weak smile. Later that day, shebd murmur something about a spinal tap.

bOh, man!bB I said,B bmy sister had one of those and she got awful headaches.b

bYeah,b she said. bI have headaches; I couldnbt do the homework last night.b A pretty weak excuse as excuses go. Ibve heard a lot of them. Ibve heard a lot of excuses.

Then shebd miss a whole day. She came back to class with no energy and didnbt have the pluck to talk to her classmates during the lesson or distract her neighbor. bI was with family. Therebs drama at my house. I couldnbt finish the project.b Ibve heard that one a lot, but I give grace for unstable home lives. I thought Ibd heard it all.

Soon she was out a whole week at a time. The office would call and say that Jane was in the hospital and her mom was coming to pick up her assignments. Hospital is a good excuse. One of the best Ibve heard. I thought Ibd heard it all.

When she got back, Ibd be patient and show her what she missed. Jane was pretty bright and could have gotten an A if she were in class more often. I would tell her that when filling her in on the Perimeter and Area of Trapezoids.

Eventually, she leveled with me.

bMr. V, I have cancer.b

I thought Ibd heard it all.

bLike bad cancer?bB I asked.

bWell, itbs a b& osteoblastomab& I think.b

I know enough to know that having bblastb in the name isnbt a good sign, but I keep a straight face.B So whatbs the plan?

bNothing,b she shrugged.

bWhat do you mean, nothing? I mean whatbs the plan for treatment? Chemo? Radiation?b

bNope. I donbt want none of that. My auntie had cancer in her face, and even after they took it out, she still has it, like under her eye. The radiation just made her hair fall out. Ibm already losing my hair and I ainbt gonna be one of them bald girls.b

I tilted my head sideways. bSob& thatbs it? Just giving up? How long do you have?b

bWell, the doctor says if I eat right and take the pills then I could have years left, but I donbt even eat at all now and those pills make me tired. So maybeb&six months?b

I thought Ibd heard it all.

bWhy not fight it?b

bOh, uh-uh. I saw what it did to my auntie. Three weeks in a hospital and it didnbt even cure nothing. I hate hospitals to begin with. I ainbt doin that. My momma wants me to do the treatment, but she knows itbs my life. Itbs my decision.b

bHmmb&Ibm curious why not; it seems like you haveB yearsB to gain by risking weeks.b

bMr. V, it sounds like you trying to convince me.b She grins a winning smile, white teeth against her dark skin.

bNo; youbre going to do what you want to do. I just want to understand you and make sure you know what youbre doing. Do you journal?b

bNo.b

bYou should start.b

bWhy?b

bBecause,bB I say, touching my head. bThe right side of your brain is where emotions lie and the left side is where speech, writing, and logic lie. By writing or talking about your feelings, you move the ideas to the logic side and can see things more clearly. Think about it.b

bOkay, Mr. V.b She grins and goes to lunch.

I thought Ibd heard it all.

Turns out, she was full of shit. She knew all along it was a cyst.

~V